for your glory...

So has much has changed for me this year. God has taken me on a journey that has involved many hills and even a few valleys. Though seasons have changed, one word has stayed on my mind.

E L E V A T I O N. 

YEARS ago, my mentor told me that elevation that requires separation. At the time, I didn't want to hear it, because it was going to mean that I was going to have to give something up and change some things. I was content with where I was. If there was one thing that God has shown me, it's that you can't desire change and expect to go higher in Christ, without being willing to confront areas of your life that need change.

To elevate obviously means to go high or to another level. Who doesn't want to elevate? Elevation is great, but it is the process of getting there that no one wants to endure. We tell God, "I want more, take me higher" but none of us want to go through the process of getting there.  In order to higher, you have to let some things GO. A balloon cannot float higher when it's attached to a brick. As much as it tries, it's not going anywhere. The same concept applies to us, how can we except for God to take us to a new level in him when we have STUFF holding us down.

I remember when I told God that for his Glory, I would do anything.

ANYTHING. 

I don't think we realize what we mean when we sing that song. We're telling God that for his we will DO anything, we will GO through anything,  just to see his name get glory. And for me, that meant elevation. God I'm willing to do anything, I'm willing to give it all up if that means I'm closer to where you are.

Whew.

I had to stop procrastinating and get to another level in my walk with Christ. So often get saved and we want to stay in the same place. So 2 years later, we're still the same baby Christian with no elevation. As babies get older, their digestive system matures more and can handle more solid foods. Our relationship with Christ should be the same way. We have got to get to a place where we mature in Christ. My journey this far has been a struggle. I can't even lie and say that it isn't difficult being stretched and PRUNED by God. But it HAS to happen.

I want to bear POSITIVE fruit, so if there was anything on me that was not like Christ, then it HAS to go.

Which leads me into letting things go. You can't go higher in Christ with things of the world weighing you down.  You love God, but you still gotta _________ on the side because "it's just too good to give up, God knows my heart." We use these excuses to rationalize the fact that we've placed something before God. YES, you've made it an IDOL. God is a jealous God, he won't have ANYTHING before him. Examine yourself. What's hindering you from elevating? What is it that's keeping you from getting more of God?

Someone, somewhere is depending on YOUR obedience.


One of my favorite songs is Fill Me Up & Overflow by Tasha Cobbs. The song says that if  "You provide the fire, I'll provide the sacrifice." What is it that you're sacrificing? It may not feel good, but you're giving up so that the fire of GOD can live on the inside of you. A fire that can never die. That's the desperation for Christ I want to always have. God I'll give up anything just for you to feel me up with more of you .The song repeats, "Fill me up, God, Fill me up, God." How can God feel you up when you're full of JUNK? Release it all to him and allow him to fill you up with the love you need, with the peace you need, with the joy you want!

Looking at how hard this season has been, I'm seeing how God is getting the glory. I'm seeing how he is being glorified even in seasons of pruning and those dry season where it seems like he can't hear our prayers. If this is what I have to go through in order for someone to see that God will never leave you, and that elevating just means that you're closer to his presence and where he is, then it's worth it. I am a broken vessel before the Lord. Empty to so that he can fill me up and I can pour out to others.

It may not feel good.. but it's worth it.
xoxo.

Leaving the Job I love...

If you have asked me 2 1/2 years ago if I wanted to be Labor Nurse, I would have a called you 4 kinds of crazy. If you have asked me if I ever had plans on leaving the ER where I currently work, I would have be like... bye Felicia.  But now, here we are 2 1/2 years later and a week from tomorrow, I start my job as labor nurse at totally different hospital. 

Let me start by saying that I absolutely love working in the emergency room. There is always such a level of excitement when the ambulance calls in and tells us they're 10 minutes out with a trauma or a cardiac arrest. I loved how fast the days went by! All my teachers told me they could see me being an ER nurse. It was literally the perfect fit.  I was so comfortable there! I knew the doctors and had the best relationship with the ER staff. It was so a home feeling. 

June 2015 -- First day techin' in the ER.

                                                              The Backstory
About a year or so into my job in the ER, I got the opportunity to shadow some nurses in labor and delivery. I fell in love. The happiness, the excitement of being about of a life-giving moment was so amazing. I actually remember having tears during the first birth that I was apart of. I remember calling my mom and telling her that THIS was it. THIS was what I wanted to do after I graduated. 

But... I still loved the ER. Yes, there were some days I dreaded going to work, but the family atmosphere made it so much better.  I thought maybe I was just having a moment and I really didn't want to be Labor nurse... It was just a phase. LOL , boy was I WRONG. 

                                    Learning to Operate in MY Season.
During my last semester in Nursing school, I found 3 jobs that I kept on my radar. 2 Labor Jobs (1 at the current hospital) and of course an ER position.  The first job I applied to was on Labor floor at a local hospital close to home. The second one was at the hospital I currently worked at. I just KNEW they would hire me... I'm in good standing with the my current management, I'm reliable, etc. So it made sense in my head that I would work there.

I waited TWO weeks... and I didn't hear anything back. I had even spoken with the recruiter and she told me I had an interview for the position and that she would call me back in few days.  A few days turned into about a week and a half and phone call that basically told me that the position I wanted was gone and that I could interview for the night shift position. SO after a lot of back and forth, I ended cancelling the interview for night shift and not rescheduling. Later that week, I received a call back telling me that position had been filled as well and that I was welcome to interview for another position on a different floor. I thought MAN this would be the perfect time for me interview and go work in the ER... BUT i respectfully declined and within 30 minutes of that phone call... I was hired as a Labor nurse at another hospital.

As EXCITED as I was to have job IN CHILD BIRTH, I couldn't help but wonder why things didn't work out at the other hospital. WHY did have to leave?!  & the response God had for me was LIFE-CHANGING.

Your season is up here. See the bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 3:3 that there is a time to kill, a time to heal, and time to break down, and a time to build up. Working there was my time to break down and build up. Every season that God allows us to grow through serves a purpose. There is something in every season that God needs us to understand and master in order to get to the next season. For THIS very reason, we have to learn to operate in the season that God has blessed us with. We have to learn to BLOOM with GRACE in the season that we are in. My season at that hospital prepared for the nurse that God has allowed me to be. And as much as love the emergency room... I know that this season had to come to an end. 

This season of my life truly taught me patience. No, I haven't mastered it... But I have DEFINITELY made progress. This season taught me that God is God of second chances and that even when it seems that it's all about to fall apart, God can turn EVERYTHING around. 

More than anything, this season has taught me to be brave. It taught me that nothing extraordinary happens inside my comfort zone and that to see God move... sometimes you've got to go BEYOND what you can see. My prayer that I never get to comfortable and become deaf to what God has to tell me. See, comfort for me was staying at that hospital. And as much as I hate to leave my friends,  I have to be obedient. I have to operate in THIS season.  

I don't what assignment this season holds! Maybe God has someone for me to impact at this new hospital, or maybe it's something TOTALLY unrelated to my job. But I do know one thing; I have NEVER seen the righteous forsaken. HE goes before me and HE goes with me. And even when seems hard, (because it will) I know that GOD is moving on my behalf. This whole season is so much more than just being a labor nurse...God has shown me that THIS season is just a stepping stone into my next season. 

It is incredibly painful to try and grow in place that God did NOT call you to be in. YES, it hurts and it's awkward, but the reward that comes with your obedience can't TOP the growing pains you're feeling. (Romans 8:18 -- the pain you're feeling now, doesn't compare to the joy that's coming)

So BE OBEDIENT and GROW . IF you KNOW God is calling you out of something... GO. Be obedient RIGHT NOW. Stop hesitating and stop looking for excuses. 
God GUIDES and PROVIDES. 

So, will I ever go back to the ER?
WHO knows?! (probably)   😅😅

- one beautiful thing about seasons... they always come back around. 
Operate in the season GOD has called you to be in.

xoxo
Court.

Do it, even when it's HARD.

I know it's been a well over a year since my last blog and many of you probably wondered... what happened to Courtney? Well, I am back y'all... and guess what, I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE.

The past 5 years, God has shown himself so faithful and I am SO thankful to have been KEPT. There were times that I thought I was going to completely LOSE my mind throughout this nursing program. I remembered one specific moment when I was about 1 second away from dropping everything that had to do with nursing and going back home. But clearly God had a different plan...

(:

One bit of encouragement I want to give to you all as we enter the new year is to be consistent. 

To be totally honest with y'all, my relationship with God was extremely rocky during certain periods of nursing school. I was trading in my quiet time to get and extra hour of studying or to do some review questions. Instead of waking up to pray, I was waking up to study before I even started my day. There were times where I was "all in"  and then there were time were I was actually frustrated with God. 

I remember when I had to repeat a class, I was so upset that I questioned God's will for my life. I thought "If nursing was for me, then God would not have let me fail this class." But the truth is, since nursing WAS for me, I had to fail this class. I needed that season of my life to remind that God's plan isn't always the easiest or comfortable. I needed to be reminded that delayed is NOT denied.  This was all in God's plan. His CRAZY, yet AMAZING plan. 

The season where I had to repeat a class was named "Grow where you're planted".  (I don't normally name seasons of my life, but for some reason I kept seeing that phrase everywhere). That season taught me what real consistency looks and feels like. I could have just went with my original plan and quit nursing school, but I chose to be GROW in my purpose, even though it hurt. I chose to remain consistent with the course that God placed me on.

I grew SO close to God during that season and I can tell you that the prayers prayed during that time had a LONG - LASTING effect on my time in nursing school. Now, was it easy working two jobs, retaking a class, and still having to go to clincals? Absolutely NOT. But, because I had accountability, it made it a little more easy to be consistent in my time with God.  I learned that even though I don't FEEL like praying, or reading my bible, that I have to fight past it to get what I need from God. We can't allow the enemy to distract us with temporary feelings. There is always a blessing on the other side of obedience. We can't be upset when we don't hear from God when we don't even spend time with him. 

the Tuesday Night crew... SO anointing in this room 

SO this 2018, be consistent. Give God HIS time. The answer to your issue/situation is in his presence. NOT an inspirational YouTube Video, or a book/blog, or a tweet. Here are some of the tips that help me currently,

1. Be flexible with your time that you spend with God. If you have a busy/unpredictable schedule, pick a time that works for you where you're not rushed. 

2. Find a plan/study guide that works for you. I prefer topical plans because they relate to what I'm going through. I typically write out/study scriptures that relate what I am going through.

3. Get a journal! 

4. Get alone/ without distractions.

5. Get a partner or group of friends that will genuinely hold you accountable. ACCOUNTABILITY is MAJOR KEY.  

Update -- In a couple of weeks, I will be doing another prayer challenge! This will be great opportunity be consistent with your time with God and have accountability.  

Stay tuned for dates (:

Feels good to be blogging again.

Love you, all.