I think that our prayer and worship life gets like that. We sit in church and lift our hands to all these songs about freedom, not really realizing what we're declaring or saying. There other day, I was listening to a song that said, "Lord take it away, whatever it is, that's my desire, I want you heart."We sing songs like this all time telling God that we will do anything for him and how much we want to change, but when it come down to it, we really aren't willing to give up that lifestyle, that sin, or that desire. But along the way, we expect God to do things and bless us! We think that we can stay the same and God will just bless us in our mess. We cannot continue to "do us" and try and live for God. You have to chose ... are you living for you or for God?
I went through a lot this past year. I have said over and over again that I prayed for this season. In addition, I prayed for God to help me trust him more and increase my faith. With elevation, comes separation. God stripped me. I felt like I had hit rock bottom. But the beautiful thing about rock bottom is that you're forced to look up. You're forced to turn your eyes to the hills where your help comes from. You have an instant choice to make when you hit rock bottom, either turn TO God or AWAY from him. Throughout this season, I relied on worship music and alone time. As I would listen to some of the lyrics, I would ask myself do I really mean what I'm singing? Do I really mean that I would do anything for God's glory? Do I really want God's will for my life over my life? Am I intentional about God as he is about me? But the big one was, Do I really want God to strip me from things don't look like him?
Don't make your life with God just another motion you go through, just to say you did. Intentionally seek the face of God. We all want so much from God, but we don't give him the time to respond. We end our busy day and go into prayer saying God please do this, do that, bless this, heal this, bless my haters, and remove those away from me that don't mean me no good, amen. Then we go to bed.
What if God has something to tell you? You talked to him but you didn't even give him time to speak to your heart. So then you develop this mentality that God is ignoring you and not answering your prayers. Are we really so busy that we don't have time to let God talk to us? He could have told you that you don't need this or that in this season of you life. He could have told you that he wants you to go be a witness to that person you've classified as a hater and trying to cut off. He could have encouraged you to not quit or give up on that dream because it's what He's called you to do. But you won't know because you're too busy.
I'm guilty of this. I use to beg for sign, but the whole time the sign was right in front of me, I just didn't take the time to seek the answer. Everything we need is in him. We just have to seek it.
This has to be the foundation of everything. John 3:30 -- He must INCREASE and I must DECREASE. I can't want anything more than I want God. I can't want this nursing degree more than I want God. I can't make an idol out of something that I'm doing for God's glory. It's not for me. It's not for you. That dream or that vision is NOT your own. You're the carrier of it. God has entrusted you to give birth it. Your desire for marriage, or children, or cars, money, success, cannot be greater than God. Don't get me wrong, all these things are wonderful, just don't make them an idol. Remember every good and perfect thing comes from him. Allow him to give it to you in his time.
Don't allow yourself to become so busy that you don't have time for God. That sign you've been asking for is in his presence. That peace you need is in his presence. Everything you need is there. Don't neglect him. Return to his love, your first love.
his glory alone,
Courtneyyy.
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