abnormal.

I have reached the conclusion that I am abnormal. 

I'm currently taking a class that is focused on making yourself better. We cover a variety of topics, some of which leave me looking real crazy. Our last topic helped me reach the conclusion, I am abnormal.

Our topic was sex. You can imagine how this conversation went being among college students. There were so many opinions shared, most of which I disagreed with. I felt SO uncomfortable. Not because people where talking about sex, but because of the lack of morals and standards of those who called themselves Christians. I sat there LOST and while my flesh was eager to speak, my attitude was not in check and it was not the time nor the place.


ab·nor·mal 

So, why do I think I'm abnormal? I'm a virgin by CHOICE. Not because I haven't found "Mr.Right" but because "Mr. Right" will NOT compromise my purity. Sex is for marriage.  Being a Christian and a follower of Christ, the word of God is very clear about sex and honoring your body. SO WHAT you're young and you want to experience life? The life you THINK you're experiencing is NOTHING like the life Christ can give you once you surrender it all to him. Not all college students are having sex. I have so many sisters in Christ who are celibate and choosing to honor God with their life and bodies in their college years. College is not the time for you to have sex and experience all  these things and then decide you're going to grow up. No sis, we're dealing with eternity. ETERNITY, like heaven or hell. Do you not realize that Jesus could come back at any moment? Or that you life could be over? Stop living for the moment. The excuse "I'm young and was trying to have fun" or "experience life before I settle down" will not work. God wants your YOUTH. Not only that, he wants your entire life . You can't live with one foot in the world and then acknowledge God every now and then. Let him use you in your college years!! You don't have to be like everyone else.  Be SET APART. 

I'm not embarrassed about being a virgin. I love being abnormal. When people find out that I am a virgin they always ask How have you made it this far?

Well, it was instilled in me that sex was for marriage at very young age. So I've always thought of it this way. I never veered from it. Was it tough? Absolutely! We live in sex craved world. You're relationship isn't thriving if you're not satisfying your boyfriend. No one thinks about the fact that sex ties two people together. Sex ties MARRIED couples together. I'm a firm believer in soul ties.When you sleep with person, your soul is know tied with them. You have deposited a piece of yourself into them and vice versa. What's the point of creating soul ties with man who you're not even legally tied to? Instant pleasure? Just because you can? No sis, please hear it from me if you hear from NO ONE ELSE, you are worth MARRIAGE. YES, BOO, MARRIAGE. Forget waiting 90 days and lets discuss that for a minute. Baby... you're worth so much more than 90 days. This rule says a man has to "prove himself worthy of the cookie" for 90 days before a woman should be sexual with him. Absolutely not, sis. Don't place a limit on yourself. You are worth marriage and your Adam will know that and will not compromise that.

Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. 

- 1 Corinthians 6:18

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.

I heard Cornelius Lindsey say that "We believe we can do all things through Christ except stop sinning." We believe we can pass that test, or get through that situation, yet can't quit sinning. I think the truth is, we believe we can do it, we just chose not to. Because it feels good right now.  YOU CAN DO THIS.  Be bold, step out an honor God with your body and life. Be abnormal.

Now, don't think I'm judging or bashing you because you've had sex or having sex. But what am I challenging you to be the wholesome woman God has called you to be. Be holy. The TOTAL opposite of society's idea of normal. 

Wait, I'm not ready...

Can I be transparent? I don't like talking about stuff like this, but I definitely feel lead to share.

I go through these weird stages in life where I feel like I'm in a fog. Kinda like, I'm here, but I'm not here, if that makes sense. Just going through life... going through the motions. I don't like talking about it much because I use to feel like I can't let me people know that I struggle. I had to hold this mask up so that people thought that I had it all together. Well, let me be the first to say that I definitely don't have it all together. I'm a mess... a broken BEAUTIFUL mess. A mess that God took under his wing and loved back to life. Once the mask came off, it became clearer areas that needed work. That mask to hide temptation struggles, depressive thoughts, and lack of joy was the enemy was of trying to make me forget those things existed. Like if I covered those things up and smiled like everything was okay it would magically disappear. He is a DECEIVER, y'all. But when you realize that you have authority over the enemy and you USE it... things get better.

Starting Pinky Promise was the best thing I've ever done. I get to see God work in ways I've never dreamed of. I've see women restored in joy, peace, etc. I've see God tug at hearts and draw his daughters back close to him. I am truly and totally amazed at the times we sit and encounter God. It brings me so much to God work in the lives of his daughters. Women of all types...who don't have it all together, just seeking a better relationship with Christ.


As I said earlier, I don't have it all together. I use to think that if I shared the fact that I was struggling with a particular thing or feeling, I would get judged. Y'all know how folks talk, "Ooo, she gotta problem with ______". So I kept it all in hopes of maintaining my "good Christian girl image". But the truth is, masks come off and expose what's on the inside. Eventually, in a lot of tears and thoughts, it begin to come out. All those feelings of self doubt and fear were right there and I had a choice, capture it or let it capture me. Where in the bible does it tell me I have to be perfect or have it all together? So it was time to capture these things that were not of God. I had to remind myself of a few things:
1) Where God guides, he provides. I wouldn't have been lead to this place of my life if God would have equipped me to do his work.
2) God does not called the qualified, he qualifies the called.
3) Not feeling ready isn't an excuse to not do what I am called to do.

So, truth is, you don't have it all together for God to use you. In fact, we will never have it all together. Philippians 1:6 says that we are a work in progress until the return of Christ Jesus.

If I could encourage someone right now... Don't let the fact the you feel like you're not ready keep you from walking into the call God has on your life. If you know some of my testimony, you know that felt like I wasn't "saved" enough to start and lead a ministry. But, guess what, God saw what I didn't see!! He saw past all that negativity! God is going to be with you through the whole thing. All he wants is effort. Do what he is calling you to do. He's not gonna call you to do something and then leave you to do it alone. He's gonna help you!!! Believe me!! He will never leave you nor will forsake you. God wants to use your brokenness... your hurt...your insecurities. Let that draw you closer to Christ. He's waiting on you... run back into his arms.

So what am I saying? It's okay to be imperfect because it's impossible to be perfect. Take off the mask. We all struggle... but God is still good and perfect. Strive to be more like Jesus in everything you do. Draw near to him... not away. Get some accountability in your life. I have some amazing friends that are ready to pray whenever I need it. They are there to listen and give me some biblical advice and insight. Get you some praying girlfriends!! If you don't have someone to pray for you... I will be that friend!! I love to pray, lol. 

I love you ladies,
xoxo.
Court.